I just don’t know what to do. I feel completely lost. I feel extremely unsure, and I don’t know how to make it okay. I’ve always been someone that has an answer to everything, but this time, I don’t. You were my everything. I can list so many memories that just keep running through my head, but I don’t even know if you’ll actually read this.
I never thought this would happen. Never. I was ready for a lifetime with you.
Why do I always get in trouble for things that I don’t even do? I am the most loyal and honest person. It isn’t that hard to trust me, because I don’t break trust. Why do I always have to go through this? It isn’t fair to me. I have changed my ways so that I can gain trust. I don’t lie. I don’t cheat. I don’t even talk to other males. Not on the phone, not on the internet, and not in person. Even if they do try to text me, I respond with 3 word answers until they will leave me alone. It isn’t fair. I shouldn’t be ignored, because I don’t do anything that deserves it.
I really haven’t written anything really long lately, and I realize that this post is long overdue. There is a certain man in my life that means absolutely everything to me. I’ve never fallen so fast for someone before, and I’m so glad that this is the man that fate set me to fall in love with. He is absolutely perfect for me, even when we have our lows. When we cuddle, our bodies fit perfectly. Every limb was made to fall into place with each others. Our legs form the perfect union when we spoon to sleep, and we never feel out of place. Not only are we perfect at cuddling, but he sings me to sleep. I have always fallen asleep to music, and only music, and his voice is so much better than a strangers. I can feel the breath off of his lips on the back of my neck when he sings to me. The warmth sends chills down my spine, and makes me fall asleep so easily. I especially love it when the songs are about me. I know this because sometimes he will hear a song and tell me to go listen to it because he says the lyrics remind him of me. Those are my favorite songs, and when I hear any of those on the radio, I get goosebumps. I get goosebumps every time I feel like he is thinking of me, and if I know him well enough, that is quite often. We like a lot of the same things, which defeats the saying that you always attract the opposite. I always feel like I have something to say to him, and that I would never ever run out of conversation. He is the easiest person to talk to, and I feel as though I open up to him more and more every single day. He never leaves my thoughts, or my tongue. All I can do is brag about him every day, and tell everyone how much I love him and how I’m so excited that one day he will move here. That will be the best day, my most favorite day. The day that we are finally brought together and in the same state again. Long distance sucks, and it is really hard. Don’t let anyone tell you different, but my man and I are stronger than anything and we will get through anything that comes our way.
I have never felt more at peace with my life, and I have never been this content. All I can ever think about is waking up to him everyday, and sometimes I even dream about the way that he will propose to me one day. That’s my favorite dream. I wouldn’t even hesitate, it would be an automatic yes. I could get married to him right now and never regret anything. He really is that perfect. We may have our little bickers like any other relationship, but I’ve never treated them like this before. Before, it was just a fuck this or fuck you. Now, all I want to do is make things better, and be able to kiss and make up. I don’t even want to fight with him, and sometimes it makes me upset when we do bicker. I care about his feelings and what he thinks. That is all I care about. He tells me not to worry about him, but I can’t help it. I always will worry about him. He’s mine to worry about, and I want him to always be okay. I want him to always be happy. I will try to make him the happiest man in the world. Always. I want to be the best girlfriend to him that I possibly can be, and I was never this way. He changed me for the better. I want to be more mature for him, and create a strong relationship that lasts for the rest of our lives.
Baby butters, I never thought that I would find someone that is absolutely perfect. I always thought that I would find someone and still want more, or still think that they weren’t perfect for me. I was wrong. I was supposed to meet you, I was supposed to date you, and I’m damn sure that I am supposed to marry you.
Forever and always, I will love you until the day that I die, and nothing less.
I love how I knew it allllllll along. But you lied to me. You thought that I would never find out. But, little do you know, I find out everything. I know you cheated on me, when your little homewrecker came to Atlanta in December. How could you sit here and accuse me of cheating when you were doing it all along? And I was the loyal one. You were the biggest mistake of my life, and I’m so glad I got rid of you.
My boyfriend is sheer perfection, and I sometimes don’t even know how I was able to score such a perfect man. He makes me entirely too happy. Like last night, when he was just sitting on the floor singing to me, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Not only is he so handsome, but he has every quality that I love. It’s little moments like that, when he sings to me, or when he thinks that I’m not watching him, that I love the most.
Jake rode to my house after work and then we went to Atlantic Station. We walked around, and just looked at some stores while we were wasting time before our movie. We went and saw the last Harry Potter, and it was so good. I had been reluctant to see it, just because I didn’t know how I was going to feel afterwards. It felt like a part of me was missing, because there was no longer anything to wait for. Jake made everything so much better though. After that we went and got some food, and just sat outside of my house and talked about stuff. I love just sitting there with him and talking. There is never a moment that isn’t perfect.
The best part of the night was when he surprised me with a promise ring. I will never ever take it off of my finger until another ring from him will take its place. It’s so pretty and perfect, and the meaning behind it is exactly what I want: him in my life forever. I love him so much, and I have never been happier.